Vulnerability

I have been a lazy blogger lately. I think the "honeymoon phase" has ended, and some days blogging, and social networking in general, feels like a chore. However, God has been convicting my heart about this. First of all, I already have several posts written on paper that I've just been too "lazy" to transfer to the screen. You know what it really is, though? Fear of being vulerable. And in the last week, I have been gently but not so subtly reminded that I need to let it go.

I'm currently reading an amazing book called Strong Women, Soft Hearts, by Paula Rinheart. Here's what she says about vulnerability:

"The word literally means 'able to be wounded.' To be vulnerable is to voluntarily place yourself, for the sake of a larger purpose, in a situation that could bring you pain. You see something at stake... and you are willing to risk your heart in a vulnerable way."

Paula goes on to say that writing is a great place to start. She quotes Nicole Johnson: "How else can we learn about ourselves if not by forcing our hands to tell the truth about our hearts?"
And C.S. Lewis: "Whenever you are fed up with life; start writing: ink is the great cure for all human ills, as I have found out long ago."

Writing has always come easily to me. Sharing, on the other hand, not so much. I am an introvert. I may be described as quiet, and shy. My close friends and family members know that I can talk your ear off when I get rolling, but I require a certain kind of safe space to feel comfortable enough to do so. The more public my blog becomes (which is intentional, don't get me wrong), the more nervous I feel about sharing my heart. And the more compelled I feel to do so. It's quite an inner battle.

Paula hits it right on the head though, asking: "How much of your real life - your story - have you shared with people you care about? How often have you taken the risk to share your heart, to let yourself be known?"

"The strength of vulnerability... that paradoxical place where you discover the strength God has placed in you by actually risking the pain you would normally run from... You step into the difficult place and find you are not blown away... You say the words you need to say. In these kinds of moments you can almost feel your soul expand."

And, if that wasn't enough to convict me, I just started Beth Moore's Esther study, and here are her words that spoke right to my soul:

"One of the most important parts of fulfilling our destiny will be transparency." Ok Lord, I get it.

So I promise to get real and vulnerable with you real soon.

But before I do that, next week I'll be hosting another week of giveaways! (Actually more like raffles to raise funds for my Haiti trip - but still exciting.) 4 chances to win a blog makeover, and one raffle involving home decoration. Come back and check it out!



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