Barcelona

Hi again! This will be a very quick update because I have to pay for the internet at the hostel. Barcelona is GORGEOUS. The architecture, the palm trees, the ocean, wow. Adriana and I paid to ride one of those double decker bus things for the last two days so that we could get around easily, since she doesn't know this city as well as Madrid. It has been so much fun to see everything from up high, and then to hop on and off the bus to see the sights. I can't really even describe the beauty here, so you will have to get a better understanding when I post pictures. My feet are doing better, thanks for asking, although when we got to Barcelona they swelled up and were HUGE. But the rash is fading, and I've only worn heels twice (at night), despite my desire to wear my beautiful shoes. It's also VERY hot, and we are starting to lose steam, after going going going, but I am not letting that stop me. Tomorrow we leave for Adriana's family beach house, so we can get out R&R there. (And swim in the Med. Sea woo hoo!) I hope all is well in the states! Hasta luego.

I'm in Madrid!!

Hello from Spain!! I wanted to send out a quick update, because tomorrow we go to Barcelona and I probably won't have internet access while we're there. Spain has been amazing so far! The flights were long of course, but not too bad, and I slept almost 6 hours, so that was good. Customs was easy, I was a bit nervous about going through it alone for the first time, but it was no big deal. I found Adriana, and we headed back to her apartment, which is very cute, on the 17th floor of an apartment building in Madrid. We have been exploring Madrid, which is a great city. We went inside the Royal Palace, saw the Opera house and numerous other amazing buildings that probably have more history than our entire country. We went to see Flamenco dancers, which was a lot of fun, and have explored Madrid's crazy night life. The first night I managed to stay awake until 10, which I was very proud of, and woke up at about 7:30, which is impressive, I think, for a jet-lagged person. So since then I have been fine and felt great. My Spanish is terrible, but luckily I have Adriana, and I think it's starting to come back to me a bit. :) My feet have had a multitude of problems - blisters, and some kind of red, itchy rash, which might be from the heat, I'm not sure? - but I'm choosing to ignore it. Mind over matter. The food has been great so far, and the people accomodating. Yesterday we went to Toledo, which is an incredibly beautiful city, with an amazing cathedral, fortress, moat, and a ton of little cobblestone streets and beautiful homes and buildings. It was about 112 degrees (literally), so we had to stop, sit down and drink water often, but it was amazing anyway and so worth it. We have one more night here in Madrid, and as I said, we are off to Barcelona tomorrow! I will write again when I can! Pictures of the wedding and the trip will have to wait until I return. Hope everyone is well!

The State Of My Heart

Wow. It has officially been over two months since I posted. And no, I did not forget that my blog existed, it was just a very crazy couple of months, and didn't really feel capable of penning my thoughts and feelings. But here I am! So prepare for a long entry. I have officially moved from Portland to California, although I am staying with my parents for now and don't have any details about where I will be living this year. The move back was hard in many ways, because I ADORED Portland. It's a bit hard to explain, because California is and will always be my home. Not to mention the fact that my family is HUGELY important to me, and they, along with the majority of my best friends, are here in CA. But let me try and tell you a bit about my journey to Portland...

The last few months, and possibly closer to years, that I was there, I became somewhat discontented in San Luis. I love the town of SLO, I love the area, I adore my friends, and SLO was a comfortable distance from ALL my family members. So I tried as best I could to remedy my situation, and find contentment. It didn't happen. Now don't be concerned, I wasn't depressed or anything, I just knew that I needed to be getting more out of my life. I loved the kids that I worked with, but was getting more and more frustrated with other aspects of my job. I was becoming acutely aware of the fact that I couldn't get anywhere with my Bachelor's degree. The town seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, and younger and younger. (With the exception of families, who were sort of just a painful reminder that I don't have one of my own yet.) There is precious little to do in SLO if you are young and single, but out of college and uninterested in the bar scene. And my church life was... not flourishing (my fault, not theirs.)

So... in the spring of last year, I went to a worship conference at Kevin's church in So. Cal. with my friend Jenn. I opened the lines of communication with God (which had been, for the most part, closed for awhile.) I knew that God was telling me to move to Portland. Some of you readers may not understand what I mean by this, but communication with God, at least in my life, is not a one-way street. He has things to say too. And I finally turned off my selective hearing, and clearly heard what He had to say. And cried. I was not very interested in moving to Portland. It's far, and I'd never even been there. This kind of a huge change is very out of character for me, and was a bit daunting. But an overwhelming sense of peace followed, and I knew it was the right decision. You may remember that Kelly and Rob were considering moving to Portland at that time, and I firmly believe that this was God's way of a) bringing Portland to my attention, and b) making me more comfortable with the decision, because I at least had the possibility of family coming to join me. In the end, that was not what He had for them, but it made for a much easier transition for me, and by the time they settled on Castro Valley, I was comfortably situated in Portland.

Here is why Portland was amazing. I have a MAJOR tendency to define myself by the people in my life, and my relationship with them. This is fine, except that sometimes I lose sight of who I am, aside from a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, etc. Moving to Portland separated me from everyone, and while that was extremely hard at times, it was exceptionally good for my soul. (Don't take this the wrong way; think of it as a compliment that I love you guys so much that I don't know who I am without you. ;) Just needed to figure that out.) I purposely chose a school in Portland that had a campus in California, so that if I needed/wanted to come back, I could. (Plus I knew that state licensing differences were likely to become an issue.) So, I relocated to a new city (the biggest I've lived in yet), a new state, started a new school, a new church, a new job, met new people, and made new friends. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this, but I am a fairly neophobic person (fear of new things.) I would be perfectly content to always eat my favorite foods instead of trying new ones, spend time with my favorite people instead of meeting new ones, and do activities that I am used to, rather than seeking out new ones. (The only exception is that I LOVE to travel; this is a strange contradiction in myself that I've never understood.) So all this newness at once should have been a huge shock to the system. Strangely it wasn't; I transitioned quite smoothly. Another sign to me that it was meant to be. And just the fact that I did it, and lived in a new city on my own, far from everyone I know (well, it's not Europe or anything but it's far for me), just made me feel very satisfied with myself. (Although I have not forgotten God's huge role in the situation.)

The people that I met and the experiences I had in Portland were priceless. Plus, being mostly on my own did wonders for my relationship with Jesus. I won't go on and on about all of this (well, I guess I already have...) suffice it to say that it was an important year for me. When I prayed about whether to stay in Portland or return home, I got a clear answer: "Wherever you go, I will be with you." It was not the answer I was looking for, but it was a good one nonetheless. I wholeheartedly believe that moving to Portland was one of the best decisions I ever made, and that the decision to move back was just as prudent. I am SO excited to be closer to my loved ones, to the beach, to In & Out, etc. ;) I know that I won't fall into the same discontent that I experienced before, because I am a changed person. This year, I am confident, will be just as amazing as the last.

I just wanted to explain a bit of what I've been processing in the last two months. And even though I'm closer to everyone now, the blog does not stop here. Blogging has been a lot of fun for me, a great way to process, and to communicate. I will update more often now that I have less on my hands. Kate's wedding is this weekend (woo hoo!!) and I leave for Spain in a week (yes!!!!!) so I will undoubtedly have some fun things to share soon.

(Also, I hope you enjoyed the play on words: The "State" of my heart. In the end, my friends, California wins.)

A Precious Love

I have been neglecting my blog a bit lately. Life is a little overwhelming. I will write more soon about the transition to and from Portland, because there is a lot on my heart about it, but for now suffice it to say that the upcoming move is a bittersweet and challenging transition. (Also, I will write more about my Social & Cultural class, and the question I posed a few entries ago. Sorry to leave you hanging for now.)

Since it's Sunday, and I was too lazy to go to church, I thought I'd write a little devotional blog. As you know from a previous entry, I have been reading Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge. The two authors often include anecdotes about their lives which relate to the topic they are discussing. A couple weeks ago I was reading the chapter about being romanced by God. (A fascinating concept for my helplessly romantic heart.) Stasi was sharing a story about her husband John. When he was spending quiet, prayerful time alone with God on a beach in Oregon, a humpback whale spontaneously shot out of the water, very close to shore. The time of humpback whales' migration in Oregon had long passed. John knew this was just for him, a kind of love letter from God. Stasi was happy for her husband, but wanted such an experience for herself. A few weeks later, on a beach in Northern California, Stasi asked God if He loved her enough to send her a whale. This was her experience: "I rounded a corner and came upon a starfish, a beautiful orange starfish. And I knew at once that it was God's gift for me, His kiss. For me, unique to me, He gave me a stunning starfish. He answered my question. Yes. He loved me. I thanked Him for it then rounded the bend and came upon a sight I will never forget. There before me, behind me, surrounding me, were hundreds of starfish. Zillions of them. There were purple ones and orange ones and blue ones, all sizes. I burst into joyful laughter, my heart bursting inside me. God didn't just love me, He LOOOOVED me! Intimately, personally, completely." Sweet, isn't it?

So after reading this, I naturally asked God if He loved me that way too. Nothing happened. Almost a week passed, and I had completely forgotten about the story and my prayer. I went to school last Monday, and on my way into class, I saw a golden retriever puppy, just a few weeks old. I thought to myself that the greatest sign to me of God's soft and precious heart is His creation of puppies. But not just any puppy. (Keep in mind that I love my own dogs beyond measure, so don't tell them I said this.) Golden Retrievers. Their chubby, clumsy little bodies. Their sweet faces and big brown eyes. Their thick, soft, plentiful coats of fur. Their endless capacity to love any and all human beings that they encounter. A God who created these little creatures is a good God indeed. So, with all that in mind, I went into class, marveling at God's sweetness. When I came out of class that night, darkness had fallen, so I almost didn't see it. I did a double take as I looked at a patch of grass underneath a bush with beautiful pink flowers. There were petals spelling out "I [heart] U." I laughed out loud. I know what you cynics are thinking, but I don't care how it got there. I just know it was there, in plain sight, in my path, as I left class, answering my question. He loves me. Intimately, personally, completely.

Krissy's Visit

Sorry I've been a little absent from this blog lately, it's been a crazy few weeks. Krissy came to Portland last weekend and we had a lot of fun, so I thought I'd share about our visit. I am making up for my absence with A LOT of pictures. :) She came on Thursday, and we had a relaxing afternoon. We went to lunch, visited my school, mapped out our weekend plans, and went to the mall with the ice skating rink. (See here for a pic of the rink.) Friday we went to lunch at Chicago's Brewpub:

... and then went to Washington Park, which is one of the prettiest places I've ever been. Truly. At the park, we visited the Rose Garden:

The Holocaust Memorial:

And walked a trail through the Arboretum:

Then we went on to Powell's Books (sorry, no pic this time) and then went to the Mission Theater & Brewpub:

...where we had a brew, snacks, and watched Coraline. After that, we went to Urban Fondue, (where I went with Adriana on her visit) and had some delicious fondue:

Saturday morning, we went to Saturday Market downtown:

We walked around, saw the sights and had some lunch. Then we continued on to Oregon Museum of Science and Industry:

...where we had fun with science...

...watched a movie about oceans at the IMax...

...and watched a light show at the Planeterium set to music by U2. :) Also, we had licorice sodas!

Saturday night we met up with Krissy's friend Rachel, and went out on the town:

and after a long day, I drank Red Bull to stay awake (can you tell?)

Sunday was my favorite day, because I did not know the gloriousness that I was in for. We took a little road trip down the I-84...

...stopped a few times to take in the scenery...

...and then hiked a beautiful trail...

...to Multnomah Falls! GORGEOUS!

Seriously, a piece of heaven. We had a nice lunch up there, and then headed home and rested a bit before heading to:

...for dinner. It's on the 30th floor of a bank building downtown, and this is the view:

While we ate we watched the sun set and the city lights come up. It was pretty fabulous. Monday morning I took Krissy to the airport, after a pretty amazing weekend. We obviously took quite a few pictures, and this is only a sampling. There are more on my facebook page, if you're interested. Anyone else want to visit? :)

P.S. My friend Rochelle is getting married in September, and I posted some of her amazing engagement photos on my other blog.

Your Thoughts

Well, I'm back in the world of self-discovery. ;) My Social and Cultural class is challenging my views on a lot of things, some of which I'm sure I'll share later. One thing I read that caused me to think, is a question that the author of my textbook asked of many people, and the responses were interesting. So I decided to ask you.

What does it mean to be white?

If you don't have and answer to the question, you can also tell me your reaction to being asked - in counselor terms - how does it make you feel? :)

I don't think I have a lot of readers of other races, but if you are not white, please feel free to answer the question too. And be honest.

Back in Class

Well, classes started up again. So far, so good. I'm taking a counseling class called Social and Cultural Foundations, and a bible class called Epistles, where we'll be studying Acts through Galatians. It looks like the classes should be pretty interesting. My favorite thing about the bible class is that the professor has been to Israel several times, and as we read through the bible, he shows pictures of places I've been! It's pretty neat. So I decided to share some examples with you. :)

Acts 1:5 - for John baptized with water
Me getting baptized in the Jordan (where John baptized)

Acts 1:12 - Then they returned to Jerusalem from the mount called Olivet
A garden on the Mount of Olives

Acts 1:13 - When they had entered the city, they went up to the upper room
The upper room

Acts 3:1 - Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the ninth hour, the hour of prayer.
The wailing wall (where the temple was before its destruction)

Acts 9:43 - And Peter stayed many days in Joppa with a tanner named Simon
Simon the Tanner's house

Acts 10:1 - Now there was a man at Caesarea named Cornelius, a centurion of what was called the Italian cohort.
The hippodrome at Caesarea

Acts 12:19 - Then he went down from Judea to Caesarea and spent time there.
The theater at Caesarea, where Peter preached (and Paul, too)

Pretty fun, huh? I may post more later. So... school is good. :)